Men's Mental Health: A Silent Struggle has a voice.
There's an elephant in the boardroom. Men’s Mental Health.
Chris our Head of Creative wanted to discuss a personal journey, and we were more than happy to share since at Wodehouse, we absolutely support Mental Health Awareness and the importance of open conversation.
Men don't feel comfortable showing vulnerability that's a fact, it can often be misconstrued. Even in a group of friends at a bar it's rare that your inner concerns will rise to the surface. How many times have we heard "man up" levelled at those having a difficult period of coping. There is a negative stereotype that somehow you are weak if you cannot bear the weight of your problems with a machismo resolve.
The stark statistics are that 70% of suicides are male and it's the biggest killer of men under the age of 35. Looking at the figures, men rarely seek mental health services compared to women, resulting in isolation, substance abuse, and a reluctance to open up about emotional distress. It's coping rather than living.
Many men feel unable to share even with a wife or partner lest it reflect badly on them. Men are expected to be the rock of the family - but rocks, don't feel emotion! Unaddressed bottled up emotions, accumulated stress and trauma even from being a child builds up akin to filling a cup and then finally overflowing. This may manifest as being angry, tearfulness and can even lead to mental conditions such as depression, psychosis or even PTSD and suicide.
The relentless grind of modern life where one week can blur into another when men struggle with mental health can leave them feeling like a car that's never had a service. The workplace needs to have far more initiatives to recognise that employees with better mental health are more productive. Initiatives such as such Ricky's Club below need actively promoting, talking openly about, or popping on the notice board. Chris helps out with the social media at no cost when time permits, as he feels it's only fair to give something back.
The journey to a better quality of mental health for Men…
Ricky's Club: A Beacon of Hope in Bolton
Alex Matvienko is a former ex Professional Boxer and head Professional Boxing coach, who trains enthusiastic and loyal locals out of his gym/community hub in Wordsworth Mill Bolton. He provides Boxing training and boxing based non-contact workouts for men, women and children, and much more from nutrition advice to classes for the over 50's for a modest or zero cost. He also partners with other positive mental health, sporting and social initiatives in the area, and beyond.
Ricky's Club was founded by Alex in January 2022 and stands out as a beacon of hope and support for men dealing with mental health issues. You can talk without judgement. The club’s namesake ‘Ricky’ Fletcher's own battles with mental health, a fellow trainer and good friend of Alex, sadly ended in suicide. You would never have known that the guy that was so full of smiles and jokes was carrying such a heavy burden only to end things some hours later. Ricky’s club was founded in his honour, turning grief into positive action.
Ricky's Club was born out of a personal journey and a profound understanding of the need for community support, work it relishes and promotes. Alex was acutely aware of the gaps in existing services and the pressing need for a space where men could connect and share their experiences. His vision was to create a place where men could come together akin to Andy's Mans Club, break the silence, and support each other through their journeys. No more falling through the cracks.
With help from larger mental health advocates and organisations a safe and welcoming environment for men was created to talk about their issues without fear of judgment. If ever there was a venue that dispels the myth of 'being weak' talking about mental health it's being held in an active boxing gym spanning several floors that has trained many champions and household names including refugee Cameroonian, Cindy Ngamba, Paris Olympics hopeful.
Chris's Experience
Chris felt lost and lacked direction in life. Simply keeping his head above water, a bit like a duck, still and calm on the surface but furiously paddling underneath, a lot of weight to carry - figuratively and literally - his own upbringing (he'll readily admit) was not exactly a guidebook for a happy life. It’s never affected his gifts as a creative fortunately. He was introduced to the group by a mutual friend. He can honestly say it's turned his life around, sharing what’s on his mind and un turn supporting a group of guys who don't judge. He says you only ever leave feeling better than when you came in, and is not ashamed to say he broke down the first couple of times he went. His own life had been a decidedly solitary affair living in a town where you could easily feel isolated. That was about to change.
How does it work?
The group is held in a cavernous boxing gym in an old Victorian mill and consists of a circle of chairs laid out on the gym floor, tea and coffee facilities. Once seated you simply state how you are feeling on the day and score yourself from 1 terrible to 10 amazing. Low numbers share first as they generally have more to offload. Whether people choose to share or listen - either is okay, there is no pressure. Chris's scores have gone from 2 to an amazing average of 7 or 8, and given him an inner calm and new confidence. He cares about his health, and as a natural communicator, loves to inspire others and make people new to the group feel comfortable. It's great to see him doing so well.
He's attended Ricky's since its founding days where Alex and Shoey the group leads, were being mentored by an experienced mental health advocate. The amazing thing about Ricky's Club is it's completely free, Alex gives so much of his time for various initiatives at the boxing club and the community hub. It’s powered by a love of life, wellbeing, and not wanting to see fellow men broken by a stigma of not talking about mental health.
Meeting the Mayor
Chris was asked recently to meet the Mayor of Bolton, Andrew Morgan and the Mayoress Karen. Alex felt he was a great example of what Ricky's Club can do to turn lives around which was a great honour for both him and the Wodehouse family. Funding is the lifeblood for all the bold initiatives that Alex has planned for the community hub, and this exposure was vital to that effort. It's a community hub with a very big heart that needs support.
To Conclude
We cannot emphasise enough how vital a positive attitude to mental health is for men.
Ricky's Club offers a variety of activities designed to promote mental well-being and foster a sense of community. From group discussions and peer support sessions to recreational activities and workshops, the club provides a holistic approach to mental health. These activities not only offer emotional support but also help in building coping strategies and resilience.
Men's mental health is a crucial issue that requires continued attention and action. Initiatives like Ricky's Club in Bolton play a vital role in providing the support and community that men need to navigate their mental health challenges and live life to its full potential. Through awareness, understanding, and compassion, we can create a society where men feel empowered to seek help and share their stories without fear or shame.
While significant progress has been made, the journey to destigmatise men's mental health is far from over. Ricky's Club is a shining example of how grassroots initiatives can make a profound difference. By providing a supportive space and promoting open dialogue, the club is helping men in Bolton and local areas to take charge of their mental health. As they quote “One day you’ll tell your story about how you overcome what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide”
"No matter the man, no matter the challenge, all are welcome. What happens in the circle, stays in the circle.
We’re here to listen, not judge."
Find out more
Ricky's Club meets every other Tuesday where men can share their stories, struggles, and triumphs. It's a supportive and non-judgmental environment. The emphasis is on listening, understanding, and offering practical advice to those in need from the other attendees and a trained group leader.
Any men over 18 can Join Ricky's Club and experience a comradeship you never knew you needed every other Tuesday at 19:30 on the top floor of Wordsworth Mill in the Elite Community Hub CIC, Bolton BL1 3ND. The next Next meeting 13th August, if you live near Bolton they'd love to see you. Remember - It starts with One Step. Find Ricky’s Club on Facebook.
If you are a business that feels you can help or sponsor the incredible work of Elite Boxing, or the Community hub, please message Alex Matvienko or Wodehouse on Linkedin - or email Wodehouse here .
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